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02 Feb 2017

Sculpture

1. When I was teenager I was playing MU Online. It was difficult to advance in the game when I was playing at their official servers. I played at the official servers for a couple of months. But then the younger brother of the owner of the gym I was working out at had an Internet café. I noticed that they had MU Israel (a private server) installed on their computers. I didn’t have DSL back then at home. I just had a prepaid dial-up internet connection. So I need to go to their Internet café to download a copy of the game so I can install it on my PC.

I got addicted to this game more than Ragnarok Online. I’ve tried a lot of MU Online private servers. Before attempting to kill myself last mid-2013, I played on another private server that is very similar to MU Israel, which is the best private server I played on. It’s a nice conclusion to a game that I will never play again. I need to focus on nutrition, sleep, and exercise to lessen my depression and my suicidal thoughts. I need to focus on reading and writing to improve my craft. What I’m doing right now is I write at least 300 words before taking a shower. I’ll gradually increase the word count to 500, 700, 1,000, and even more, per post.

2. I keep telling myself to stop watching YouTube videos that makes me stupid. Garbage in, garbage out, right? I should replace it instead with reading, writing, or meditating. But I’m not quite there yet. And most of the time I hate myself for not being able to do what I know is right for me. Fuck.

3. About a year ago, I was addicted to sugary drinks like iced tea, fruit juice, and soft drink. It’s been more than 12 months that I had these types of beverages. Now I just drink plain water, hot cocoa without milk and sugar, and hot tea without milk and sugar.

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