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09 Feb 2015

If this is my last day to be alive, will there be things I did that I should not have done? More importantly, are there things I keep on postponing? I’m afraid to write it down right now. It is too personal. But I need to face my fears. So that I will not be afraid of them anymore. First. My livelihood. My vocation. This is very important. I’m working to be able to afford the necessities of life. But am I really doing what I was born to do as of right now? I don’t think so. I know ever since I was conscious that I was born to write. My struggle right now is that I don’t know what to write about. Someone suggested I write about my experience with customers at work. I know someone who was fired from her work, because she was writing about her work, and about the people she works with. You’re dooced if you write about your work or about the people you work with or about both. Hence her website, dooce.com. She’s earning over $600,000 a year with her website. For me, I’ll just write about my life. Can any human being know more about me than me? Precisely. No one but me. This is not even about posthumous fame. This is about redeeming myself from myself by fulfilling what I was born to do. This is of the highest priority. (I know. You’ll say knowing and obeying God is of the highest priority.) I cannot change the world. I cannot change other people. I can only change myself. To mind my own business. And let other people mind theirs.

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