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09 Feb 2017

Glacier

1. I’ve started eating a slice of bread during lunch time on my work days again. I feel that what I’m doing is taking a toll on my health. All my clothes feel a little bit baggy after not eating lunch for over one month. It didn’t remove my visceral fat. It consumed my muscles.

2. There’s this person talking to another person in English. This person would never do this in a normal setting. I was there and he was doing what he was doing to mock me. One of these days I will mock him as well. Here.

3. There are people I meet in life who are older than me. But they remind me of my previous self. My former self when I was twelve years old. When I was sixteen years old. When I was twenty years old. I’m not doing the comparison to feel better about myself. But it is a nice reminder for me to keep on doing what I’m doing to improve myself. Ditch all the things that would sabotage what I’m doing to be a better person. I see this person and he is being hedonistic with food, clothing, shelter, Internet, movies, friends, money, status, rank, relationships, love, companionship, support, and sex. I despise him not because I can’t have what he has. I have all of this as well. But how come this person is still so immature after all these years?

4. People try to threaten other people that they are not their former selves. They instill fear in other people that they can be their former selves if they want to. Why not just do it? Show us your former self. Stop bragging. Just do it. Or should I say stop being fake and just be your real self? In my heart and mind I have already killed this person.

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