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10 May 2018

Landscape

1. Hey, asshole. My interactions with you are always hit or miss. I don’t care if you are superior to me with regards to our line of work. If I don’t like something, I won’t be spending my time on it. I’m only doing the bare minimum. You don’t need to sabotage me. I am already doing that to myself. I am my worst enemy. You don’t need to be so condescending when talking to me. You should just die. If there are no consequences, I will be more than happy to kill you myself.

If you are so tech savvy, why don’t you fucking create the next big thing on the Internet? The next Facebook. The next Twitter. The next Amazon. The next Instagram. The next WhatsApp. The next whatever on the Internet. Why are you still working for less than 2,000 USD a month (probably more like less than 1,000 USD a month)? You could be earning millions or billions of dollars.

Fuck you and your arrogant way of talking to me. Fuck you for mistreating me. Fuck you for all the negative experiences. I know that it’s up to me to decide if I will interpret a situation in a negative, positive, or neutral way. But still. Fuck you.

2. I am so fucking depressed. I hate that instead of reading, writing, meditating, eating, sleeping, and exercising consistently and correctly, I do the exact opposite. I don’t have enough discipline. I don’t have enough self-control.

3. Brute forcing? Taking more action? Being more aware? All these I should employ to move me forward.

4. Having sex with a beautiful prostitute is a better deal for me than having a relationship with a “beautiful and perfect” girlfriend. Even if you are already in an amazing relationship with this “flawless” girl, you don’t know what you’re dealing with. This girl is most likely fucking around with other guys. The probability is so fucking high. You think to yourself that you’re the luckiest guy on the planet for having this girl as a girlfriend or a wife. You’re wrong.

5. Emma, are you loyal to your partner? How about the guys at the office that would do anything to have sex with you? I forgot the names of the guys. There are only two that I can remember right now. Is it Brian or Bryan? The other one is Dominic (Coco)? These two guys already have girlfriends. You know it. They also know that you already have a partner. But yet, you are flirting with each other. My first reference point will always be Angela “Pinky” Bendigo Go. Every new person that I encounter who do something similar will only be an additional reference point that I can reflect on every time I’m tempted to have a girlfriend or a wife.

6. I’m not saying that all relationships are shit. I’m just saying that having a really good relationship is extremely rare. If it’s something I really desire then I won’t give up on this aspect of my life. But this is not even my priority. I have other things more important to me that I’m already preoccupied with.

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