12 Mar 2017

Fall foliage

1. Room for improvement. I need to remind myself that there is always room for improvement.

If I do this then it somehow makes me less complacent. Less lazy. Knowing that there is always room to grow. To be better in different aspects of my life. Excellence. The striving for perfection. The obsessive-compulsiveness. The minimalism. Not just of physical things. But minimizing everything in life. All facets of life that can be minimized. Simplified. Leaving only the bare essentials. To live a pure life. A pure life with a lot of blemishes. I’m thinking logically again. Make it stop. How do I stop this line of thought? Stop making a habit of this while doing this. I don’t know how to make it stop. Complacency. Laziness. Tired. Insomnia. Can’t sleep properly even if the air conditioner is turned on. What should I do? Should I set an alarm one hour before bed time? Maybe that’s what I should do.

2. Before, I was saying “Okay, Google.” Then I say “Set my alarm 21 minutes from now.” Now, I just tap on the microphone icon and then say “Alarm 21 minutes.” Less words. Less effort. Same result. But will this affect my grammar? Maybe. But binge watching videos on YouTube makes me more stupid. So maybe it’s okay to just say “Alarm 21 minutes.” I just need to gradually lessen my YouTube and porn addiction. These are even worse. I should give myself more time to read, to write, to meditate, to contemplate. More space to be. More space to be aware about my short life. The briefness of it all. To savor the savoriness of chicken. Fried chicken. Fuck. I don’t know what I’m talking about. Life is beautiful. Sometimes. Not always. Should I embrace pain and suffering in a sadistic and masochistic manner? Partially. Bye for now.

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