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28 Feb 2017

Tangerines

I’ve been too critical with other people for far too long. I can’t stop it. I just need to constantly remind myself to not be that kind of person.

If they are doing things that I know are not aligned with what I want, then to make sure that I don’t choose to make the same mistake as them. If they are doing something good, to be happy for them. Not to get into petty envy and jealousy. Think more of abundance. Not scarcity. There’s more resources out there than we can exhaust. This planet is here to stay for maybe a couple of hundreds of thousands or millions of years. And here I am. Twenty-eight years old. My life is almost over. So I need to make the best out of the remaining years I have. To appreciate whatever happened in the past. To be mindful of what is happening in the present. To be realistically optimistic about the future. To be true to myself, first and foremost. And to let other people think what they want to think. To say what they want to say. To do what they want to do. To mind my own business first. And that is more than enough to occupy my time for the rest of my life. To be aware and conscious. To know that nothing lasts forever. To be genuinely happy regardless of what happens. To know that I will die soon. Decades from now. Or maybe years from now. Or maybe months from now. Or maybe weeks from now. Or maybe days from now. Or maybe hours from now. Or maybe minutes from now. To ask myself if what I’m doing is necessary or not. To shed all that is useless. To be able to live a life that is full of pain and suffering. And at the same time full of fulfillment, joy, and happiness. The paradox. The irony. The confusion. The masochistic and sadistic way of clinging to life even though it is inherently meaningless.

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