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31 Mar 2015

1. There was a beautiful girl in the jeep earlier when I was going home. I was actually shy looking at her eye to eye. If I just had the courage, I should have asked for her cell phone number as well. Fucking gonna regret this forever. Her hands were nice, white, and smooth. Her lips were sweet. Her hairstyle was like the hairstyle of a Korean actress. I just noticed that there are always beautiful women alighting at International Pipe Industries (IPI). It seems like she was looking at me. If I need to alight at IPI or Life Homes just so I can ask for her number I would.

2. I am still here. I was cutting out receipts and papers from my past. It brought back so many unwanted and wanted memories. I’ll make sure that I only do what is necessary. I’ll make sure that I do not own anything unnecessary. I am a farmer. I was planting potatoes in a land that seems fertile. But I was mistaken. I will never ever plant potatoes again in that land forever. It did not sprout anything. Useless. Very disappointing. That scorched and barren land just keeps on accepting and never gives anything back in return. I will never talk about personal stuff anymore. It is not worth my while to divulge personal information, and get criticized and condemned right away. I am paying my own rent, buying my own food, paying my own water and electricity. I am working for myself. And yet some people talk to me in a tone of voice I abhor. What more ill treatment will I get from these people if I depend on them for my existence? I will not allow them to treat me like this anymore. I’ll train my voice to deliver it in a confident way. I have zero respect for people who disrespect me unnecessarily. Free writing. Whatever comes to my mind. Insomnia. Still not yet sleepy.

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